LUNCH BREAK by Jane Wulf
Presented at Playwrights Horizons Short Play Competition Festival
SETTING: A park bench at lunchtime.
AT RISE: ANDREW walks to the bench. He's a small, angry looking man, late 20s. He sits down and opens a sandwich bag.His friend SARAH comes shortly afterwards. She is soft and a little overweight. She too brought lunch.
ANDREW
Hi Sarah. How are you?
SARAH
Hi hon. I'm fine. How are you?
ANDREW
Eh. Same as yesterday. Sucky.
SARAH
Well, it's beautiful outside.
ANDREW
But everything is sucky. All I ever do is work and go home.
SARAH
I know I shouldn't say this, but try to look on the bright
side. You do like your job. I wish I had your job. Your new
apartment's really cool. And you look good. I wish I could
make you feel better.
ANDREW
I don't have enough money. I feel fat. My apartment's too
hot. And Chris never called. I knew this would happen, I knew
it wouldn't work out.
SARAH
That's hard. I totally understand why you're upset. It hurts
when someone just turns around like that.
ANDREW
I've been manipulated. I feel totally used. Chris used me.
SARAH
Wasn't it fun for a while? You did know it was pretty touchy.
You do live on opposite sides of the country.
ANDREW
Chris used me.
SARAH
Well, I think Chris has a problem with commitment.
ANDREW
It's so fucking hot in my apartment. Oh! Did you hear Steve
and Dana are getting back together. Can you believe it. It's
never going to work. They can't communicate at all. I get so
sick of listening to them. Just because I work with Dana does
not mean I have listen to her. I called Steve and told him
that I am not going to be their little message boy just
because they can't talk. Not while we're still working with
that Ben guy she had the fling with. They still talk all the
time.
SARAH
They've both changed a lot in the last year. It might work.
ANDREW
Work sucks. Blithe is making me want to kill her. She is so
annoying. I'm sure it's because she's turning forty. She's so
negative. Everything is something bad. She pisses me off and
I just hate being around people like that, y'know. So I'm
just not talking to her anymore, I'm just totally giving her
the silent treatment.
SARAH
Have you tried talking to her about it?
ANDREW
What? Like I'm gonna say "Blithe, you're so negative. I can't
stand being around you"?
SARAH
Yeah. I guess that would be pretty hard to say.
(Pause)
So, how's your Mom?
ANDREW
She's a total depressive bitch. She's insane. I'm not talking
to her. How are your folks?
SARAH
Alright I guess. My mom got this new job. She's excited
because she gets to travel.
ANDREW
Good for her. Get her away from your dad. He's such a jerk.
SARAH
What?
ANDREW
Your dad. C'mon. You know he's a jerk.
SARAH
He's not a jerk.
ANDREW
He is. He's a jerk. He's totally out of it.
SARAH
Please don't call my father a jerk. I know he's sort of
difficult, but he's not a jerk.
ANDREW
He is a jerk. Sarah - those years of therapy for nothing?
SARAH
Just because I told you that I had some problems with my
parents does not mean you can call my dad a jerk. He was a
good dad in lots of ways.
ANDREW
But he's a jerk.
SARAH
Stop it. I told you I don't like it.
ANDREW
Oooh. Alright. Whatever.
SARAH
My dad is a very decent person.
ANDREW
Whatever you say.
But you know, he is a jerk.
(Pause)
What?
SARAH
I was just thinking of what to say.
ANDREW
Hey. Did I tell you about my new freelance gig?
SARAH
No.
ANDREW
I'm getting five hundred bucks to write a brochure. One
weekends work for the dumb thing. Blithe hooked me up with
the job a couple weeks ago. Did I tell you what she said to
me yesterday? I can't believe how awful she is.
SARAH
Andrew.
ANDREW
What?
SARAH
I really don't want to eat lunch with you anymore.
ANDREW
You're not feeling well? You look terrible.
SARAH
I'm sick of wanting to cheer you up.
ANDREW
What?
SARAH
You're so -
(ANDREW cuts her off)
ANDREW
You're not mad about what I said about your Dad are you?
SARAH
(in a hysterical rush, trying
to get it out before she
starts being nice again.)
You're so negative, I can't stand being around you.
ANDREW
What?
SARAH
I gotta go. Have a fabulous lunch.
(Sarah storms off, forgetting
her lunch bag)
ANDREW
God. She is unbelievable. Impossible. What a bitch. And I
have to clean up all her garbage.
(Gleeful)
Eliza is not going to believe it when she hears about this.
(BLACKOUT)
(END)